This article is a word for word reproduction of an unexpected resignation speech. It was given as—or rather, in place of—the presidential address of a recent annual meeting of ISEA (the International Society for the Eating of Animals). Because this is a secret society, the speaker’s and the transcriber’s names have been omitted. Those of us who were there for this speech will remember the anger and outrage that it provoked. Many of us still cannot believe the ridiculous spin-off resignations that this underwhelming speech somehow managed to provoke. This speech is reprinted here (where it cannot be returned to sender) so that certain recent members can rethink the irrationality and indefensibility of their recent resignations. At the time, and in the heat of the moment, this speech may have seemed to contain an argument. It does not. Consequently, it should be recognized as the feckless claptrap that it is.